"Fox & Rat" Virtual Series - European Voyage

6x00 "European Voyage: La Vie en Rose"

Review By: Cerasi J.

"Oh Tom! Oh Penelope!"

The second installment of the European Voyage series starts when the gang realizes Alex and Marita have run off together… and Alex has the plane tickets back to D.C.! So, in a desperate attempt to get them back, the gang boards the EuroStar train, which is bound for Paris. Mulder, the inept clutz he is, somehow manages to lock himself in the train’s restroom while he was in search of two famous movie stars! When the gang finally figures out where the hotel is Mulder takes to lobbing Wally’s underwear out the window at drunken French people!

The entire underwear lobbing and locked bathroom bit aside, Marita has gone missing! But that doesn’t stop our heroes from touring Paris and visiting some famous sites! Will Doggett get his date with Dana and finally ask her out at the Eiffel Tower? Or will his fear of heights ruin everything? Find out in this thrilling episode of FRVS!


Title: "European Voyage: La Vie en Rose"
Series: FRVS - Episode #100b
Written by: Cassie & Kristi
Feedback: foxandratvs@gmail.com
Archiving: "Fox & Rat" Virtual Series only!
Air Date: 14 July 2003
Rating: PG-13

First Draft: 21 March; 15 April; 20 April; 6 May 2003
Final Draft: 16, 18-19 June 2003
Revised Date:

Spoilers: Past episodes of FRVS may be spoiled.

Disclaimer: "The X-Files" and its characters belong to 20th Century FOX Broadcasting. If you recognize it, it's not our own creation. Original characters belong to Cassie and Kristi (FRVS).

Author's Note: The personalities of the characters within the world of "Fox & Rat" are not those you know from "The X-Files" television series. We have warped them and given them a common past, immature behavior and a sense of humor. Any horrid behavior should not be mimicked in your every day life.

Summary: The gang takes a trip to Paris, France with the hope that they will find Krycek who has their airplane tickets back to D.C.


FADE IN:

INT. EUROSTAR CHANNEL TUNNEL TRAIN - 3 P.M.

Scully, Doggett, Monica and Brad have taken their seats in general seating. Their four seats face each other. Skinner and Mulder are directly across the aisle from them, seated in front of two business men.

DOGGETT
Let me get this straight. (beat)
This train travels underneath
the English Channel?

Brad stands up and leaves them.

SCULLY
Yep, we'll be underwater... kinda.

Doggett tenses up, he doesn't like large bodies of water. Not since he first saw the movie "Jaws" in 1975. He was only 7 and Monica and her brothers had dragged him to see the film in theaters though his own mother had objected to it. He hated oceans.

Monica notices Doggett's uncomfort and rolls her eyes, she knows exactly what is running through his mind. Sharks. Hungry sharks. Man-eating sharks.

Scully cocks an eyebrow at his reaction to this Eurostar Channel Tunnel train thing.

SCULLY
Don't tell me you have a fear of water too.

Doggett doesn't answer, he only scratches the back of his neck.

MONICA
(smiles/amused)
John? You haven't explained the
"Jaws Thing" to her yet?

Doggett doesn't answer and is about to start another topic of discussion when:

MULDER
Guys, I heard a rumor that Tom Cruise
and Penelope Cruz are aboard this train.
(beat) I'm on a... mission impossible to find them.

Mulder bolts off, humming the theme to "Mission:Impossible".

MONICA
(to John and Dana)
Shouldn't he take his seat before we leave?

DOGGETT
(nervous/loud/didn't hear Monica)
What if the tunnel collapses?

Scully's eyes go wide. Oh my gosh, what if that does happen?

MONICA
Whatever. They make it safe, otherwise
we wouldn't be here. (teasing) Of course...
we could be the unfortunate ones.

Scully and Doggett quickly glance at each other, their eyes wide open because of their fear. Doggett grabs Scully's hand as if he may never have the chance to do so again.

Brad returns, having heard their discussion. He takes his seat.

BRAD
Just to let you know. The tunnel has
had many recent closings due to collapsing.

Monica is the one who is afraid now, her eyes are wide, not blinking. She's holding her breath, not wanting anyone to see that this scares her.

MONICA
(to Brad/serious)
Oh my God! Why did we let Mulder
convince us to take the train?

Scully and Doggett are doubtful of Brad's comment.

DOGGETT
No. If that were true, I think they
would cease travel by tunnel. They
wouldn't want to endanger peoples' lives.

Brad is smiling, he likes when he gets Monica worked up and worried when she herself says that she is tough and is afraid of nothing.

CUT TO:

INT. TRAIN RESTROOM

Mulder is inside, standing on the toilet, seeing if there is a crawlspace above the ceiling of the train. There is not, he had hoped there would be so he could crawl to First Class and find Tom and Penelope. Mulder loses his balance and falls to the floor. He hits the restroom door in a very odd and unseen before kind of way. A way that would jam the lock on the door, preventing him from getting out.

MULDER
Dammit.

He gets up on his feet and tries to open the door. Nope, he's locked in. He jiggles the handle and nothing is accomplished.

Meanwhile Mulder's seat-mate on the train, Skinner, is snacking on candy, not a thought as to where Mulder has wandered off to.

Scully sits down next to Skinner.

SCULLY
Hey.

SKINNER
Hey.

SCULLY
John and Mon' are arguing about who
was the first to break a bone when they
played bootcamp as kids. It didn't concern me
so... how you doin'?

SKINNER
I think I'm getting sick from all this candy.

SCULLY
Eat something healthy.

Scully looks down at the candy wrappers in his lap: Gummi Bears, Milka... good German sweets.

SCULLY
Gummi Bears?

SKINNER
(mouth full of candy)
They're from Germany, I got them at the station.

Scully takes the bag of candy away from him. She grabs his hand and stands up.

SKINNER
Leavin' so soon...?

SCULLY
You need water to wash that down. Come on.

Skinner stands, not letting go of her hand. She tries to slip away, but he doesn't let her. Scully looks at him quizzically. He gives her a sweet smile.

In the BACKGROUND, we see Doggett watching them. Scully and Skinner walk off hand-in-hand. Doggett turns quickly to face Monica. He looks worried for selfish reasons.

DOGGETT
(re: Scully/Skinner)
What's that about?

MONICA
What's what about?

DOGGETT
Dana and A.D. Skinner.

Monica doesn't know what he's talking about, she gives him a look. Brad was paying attention to what John saw so he speaks up.

BRAD
(sarcastic)
Didn't you know? Dana and Walter
are getting back together. They're in love.

Doggett looks at him bug-eyed. He looks at Monica with this same expression.

Doggett kicks Monica.

MONICA
Ow! What the hell was that for?

DOGGETT
Do something!

BRAD
John, I was joking.

MONICA
Why do I have to do everything for you?
You're a grown-up now. (beat) Besides,
isn't your Paris setting coming up?

She smiles at him.

BRAD
(to Monica)
Is that the whole Eiffel Tower thing
you were telling me about?

Monica nods her head.

DOGGETT
You told him about that?

MONICA
Why not?

BRAD
You do realize that you're going
to be up high, right?

Doggett looks at him, panic on his face (again). He quickly gets rid of this expression.

DOGGETT
Height will not be a problem.
It's destiny... Dana and I.
Grandmama said so.

MONICA
I thought you said her psychic abilities
were... how did you put it? Bullshit?

DOGGETT
Mon', we're going to Paris. Just like
I imagined, it's going to happen.

MONICA
So now you believe in predetermined fate?

Brad shakes his head and places his forehead onto his hand as Monica and John continue to argue about their beliefs in fate, destiny and psychic abilities.

CUT TO:

EXT. EIFFEL TOWER - 4 P.M.

Krycek and Marita are standing, arms around each other, gazing up at the Eiffel Tower. Marita is overjoyed.

MARITA
It's almost as beautiful as me!

KRYCEK
Nothing is almost as beautiful
as you, nothing even comes close.

He pulls her closer to him.

CUT TO:

INT. EUROSTAR TRAIN - OUTSIDE RESTROOMS - 4:10 P.M.

Skinner and Scully are standing outside the restroom that Mulder is locked in. They are unaward of his situation as of present.

SKINNER
So we're finally goin' to Paris...

SCULLY
Yeah... just not the way we originally planned.

She laughs. Skinner doesn't. Paris was supposed to be where they were going to take their honeymoon after their marriage. Unfortunate things happened with his cheating on her and now Skinner is single again as is Scully. He thinks that perhaps it would be a good idea to try to work things out... again. He looks at her with a serious expression on his face and takes a step closer to her.

SKINNER
Dana, I've been thinking...

He takes her hands in his, just as we hear:

MULDER
(muffled/loud/whiny)
Somebody... help me...

Scully looks at Skinner, they both know that voice too well.

SCULLY/SKINNER
Mulder...?

MULDER
Guys!

Scully pulls away from Skinner and steps closer to the door.

SCULLY
Mulder, did you wet yourself when you met
Tom Cruise and need someone to get you
a clean pair of undies and jeans?

MULDER
I fell...

SKINNER
And you can't get up?

MULDER
No. I hit the door and jammed the lock.
(beat) I'm stuck.

Skinner sighs... oh Mulder.

SCULLY
(motherly)
Ok, honey. I'm gonna send Walter
to go get help.

MULDER
(quiet)
I'm scared...

SCULLY
Mulder. Remember you won't be stuck in
a train restroom for the rest of your life, ok?

MULDER
Ok.

Scully turns to Skinner.

SCULLY
Go get John, he's good with locks.

SKINNER
What about an employee?

SCULLY
I don't want my name on any official
report about this incident. Do you?

SKINNER
No.

Skinner goes to get Doggett. Scully turns back to the door.

SCULLY
Mulder? Are you all right? You
didn't hurt yourself in any way, right?

MULDER
I have a little boo-boo on my forehead.

Scully winces at his choice words of "boo-boo".

CUT TO:

Skinner approaching Doggett. At this time Doggett has said something about Grandmama Reyes, Psychics and paranormal mumbo jumbo, and has upset Monica. She's not talking to him.

DOGGETT
Mon'. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to
say that you're full of bullshit.

MONICA
Then why did you say it unless you didn't
believe it. You've always called my theories
bullshit. I'm sick of it. (beat) Imagine going through
your whole life ever since you were four hearing
from your best friend that you're full of B.S. That's
what I've- wait. I'm not talking to you anymore.

Skinner goes up to Doggett.

SKINNER
John?

Doggett looks up at him.

SKINNER
Dana and I need your help for a moment.

DOGGETT
What's going on?

Skinner looks around, debating whether or not to tell him about the "Mulder Situation".

SKINNER
You'll see. Please just come.

DOGGETT
Ok.

Doggett gets up from his seat and follows Skinner back to where Dana is keeping Mulder calm.

Scully is speaking to Mulder.

SCULLY
Fox, sweetie... I don't think you should try
getting out by seeing if you can move the
toilet and find a hole to allow you access to
the underside of the train. This isn't like the
movie "The Mummy Returns", ok?

Mulder doesn't answer her.

SCULLY
Mulder? (beat) Mulder?!

Doggett and Skinner are behind her now.

SCULLY
Mulder? That better not be groans I'm hearing,
that would mean you're not listening to me.

DOGGETT
Dana?

She turns around, relieved that John has come to her... errrr... Mulder's rescue.

SCULLY
Oh John! Mulder is locked in the restroom.
Do you know how to unlock these doors?

Doggett raises an eyebrow, he leans over, looking at the door handle. A green sign reads "Vacant". He stands up straight.

DOGGETT
Ok. I know what to do.

Doggett reaches down and pushes the door inward, it opens. Mulder is there, pulling at the toilet seat, tryting to lift it in order to get out.

SCULLY
(to John)
You're so strong...

Unknowingly, she reaches out and grabs his bicep.

DOGGETT
Mulder unlocked the door, he must not have
pulled the door correctly to open it.

Still tugging on the toilet bowl, Mulder slips and flies to the floor, sitting on his bum.

MULDER
I was pushing it and it didn't open for me.

SKINNER
You needed to pull the door toward you.

MULDER
Oh.

MUlder looks at Scully and Doggett. Scully's hand is still latched onto John's bicep. Mulder smiles.

MULDER
Ok.

He stands up, hands on his waist. He looks at Skinner, then at Doggett and Scully. Then he bolts off, humming the "Mission:Impossible" theme song. It's annoying... Mulder's humming techno.

Skinner, Doggett and Scully watch him go off. Suddenly, John gets uncomfortable. Scully has started caressing his arm. He cocks his head to one side, unsure of what to do. He doesn't move. Skinner notices.

SKINNER
Ease up John.

Skinner walks away.

SCULLY
(dazed)
Is this the arm with the tattoo...?

DOGGETT
Yeah...

SCULLY
Hmm...

She smiles a little.

DOGGETT
(uncomfortable)
Can I ask... um... why are
you caressing my arm?

Scully snaps out of the trance-like state she was in. Just now realizing what she was doing.

SCULLY
Oh... um... sorry.

She gives him a smile and quickly walks away.

Meanwhile Monica and Brad are enjoying time without John Jay Doggett. Monica is excited to be visiting Paris. The City of Light... The City of Love. Skinner has returned and stands next to them.

SKINNER
Mon'. I know Uncomfortable John humors you.
Ask him about bicep massages when he comes back.

Skinner smiles and then returns to his seat. Seconds later, Scully returns as well. She looks at Monica and Brad.

SCULLY
Mulder was locked in the restroom.
I don't think he's found Tom Cruise yet.

BRAD
That's probably a good thing.

SCULLY
Yeah. He got to talk with Steven Spielberg
on the flight to London.

Scully shakes her head as she laughs to herself about Mr. Speilberg's unfortunate meeting with Mulder.

Doggett quietly returns to his seat and lets out a nervous cough as he takes his seat next to Scully.

MONICA
So what about them bicep massages?

Doggett's eyes go wide, how does Monica find out things so fast?

DOGGETT
(lying)
What are you talking about?

MONICA
Oh... I think you know...

The funny thing is that Monica doesn't know why Skinner told her to ask John about bicep massages. If only she knew...

BRAD
Dana, you know Alex and Marita well. Where
do you think they'll be staying in Paris?

SCULLY
I almost forgot about them. I was so excited
about going to Paris. (beat) You know, last time
I was there Alex, Mulder, Marita and I (beat) I
suppose you guys don't care much for Marita
discussions after what happened in England.

Everyone is quiet for a beat.

SCULLY
OK, anyway.

The train rolls on and nothing more is said until we hear Mulder in the B.G., shouting "Oh Tom! Oh Penelope!".

TIME CUT TO:

INT. PARIS METRO TRAIN - 5 P.M.

People are sitting and standing from wall to wall. Our gang is in the middle, struggling to keep from falling and to keep a close eye on their luggage as they make their way from metro stop to metro stop, to get to their hotel.

MULDER
I wanna see the Eiffel Tower.

He tilts his head lazily to his right side, looking down at Scully.

MULDER
I was told once that no matter where you are
in Paris, you can always see the Eiffel Tower.
(beat) I was lied to you know.

SCULLY
How's that?

MULDER
You can't see the Eiffel Tower from underground.

MONICA
(not amused)
Buy a post card.

Mulder lazily rolls his head to his left, to look directly at Monica. He smiles at her.

MONICA
You suck.

MULDER
Why such negative energy, Mon'?

MONICA
John kicked my leg earlier and it really hurts.

DOGGETT
I tapped your leg, I didn't kick it.

MONICA
Sure... and that's why an ugly bruise
is forming in the shape of your foot.

DOGGETT
You're lying.

MONICA
Am I?

DOGGETT
Yes.

With that reply, Monica bends down and attempts to roll up her jeans so everyone can see the bruise. Unfortunately for her, her jeans won't roll up that high.

MONICA
(stands up)
Dammit!

MULDER
(happy)
As the French would say... zut alors!

MONICA
(to Doggett)
I hate you.

DOGGETT
No you don't.

MONICA
Yes, I do. Infact, I'm not going to
speak to you anymore.

BRAD
You said that on the train too, Mon'.

MONICA
So.

She turns her back to Doggett, he rolls his eyes and looks at Brad. Brad shrugs his shoulders. Doggett looks over at Scully, she's studying the map of the metro that is plastered above the train door. She looks confused. She speaks quietly to Skinner who is standing next to her. Doggett is about to say something to her, but feels if he did, he'd be interrupting them, so he doesn't. He looks away from them and is surprised to see Mulder just inches from his face.

MULDER
(loud/annoying)
Bonjour!

Doggett takes a step back, Mulder is way too close.

MULDER
I studied French you know.

DOGGETT
Yeah... so did I.

MULDER
Oh oui! Ca veut dire que to peux me
comprendre, non? Bien, ou est-ce qu'on
veut diner ce soir... au restaurant, dans un
bar... ou a McDonalds?

DOGGETT
Sorry. I didn't study that kind of French.

Scully has overheard this.

SCULLY
What do you mean by that, John?
What other kind of French do they
teach in schools? Cajun?

DOGGETT
I studied Spanish. French was an
extracurricular activity.

SCULLY
So you do know some?

Doggett laughs and rubs the back of his neck.

DOGGETT
Let's just say back then, it was practically my native tongue.

SCULLY
(pretends to understand)
Oh...

Doggett laughs to himself.

DOGGETT
You don't get it, do you?

SCULLY
I think I do. The family name Doggett must
be a French name, right?

DOGGETT
That's not what I meant.

SCULLY
Then what did you mean?

DOGGETT
Think about it.

He winks at her.

Scully gives him a look. French is French, right?

CUT TO:

INT. LOCAL HOTEL - DINING ROOM - 7 P.M.

This isn't a well-known or expensive hotel. Krycek and Marita are seated at a table near the center of the small room. There are only two other tables occupied. The room is warn in atmosphere and laidback. The lights are dimmed and each table is lit by a candle.

Krycek and Marita have just finished their dinner and are eating their desert. From the look of it, they haven't said anything in quite some time.

MARITA
Alex?

KRYCEK
Hmm?

MARITA
Thank you for coming with me to Paris.
You've really helped lift my spirits after
everything that has happened to me.

KRYCEK
I wouldn't have had it any other way.

MARITA
That's what I love about you the most.

KRYCEK
What?

MARITA
The way you pretend to be so egocentric, but
when it comes to those you really care about
you never put yourself first.

KRYCEK
Hey, I can't help but love me and I
can't help loving you.

He smiles at her and she blushes and lowers her eyes.

MARITA
So what do we want to do tonight?

KRYCEK
Well, I'm exhausted from touring museums
all day. Maybe we can take one of those boat
tours on the River Seine.

MARITA
That sounds romantique! Let's do it.

KRYCEK
Do it? On a boat? On a public tour?

He smiles at her jokingly.

MARITA
Oh Alex! You can be so naughty!

She laughs devilishly and then takes a bite of her creme brulle.

KRYCEK
I hate to bring this up right bow, but did
you let someone know we were coming here?

MARITA
No.

KRYCEK
Maybe we should call Mulder, let him know
where we are... you know how much he panics
when he doesn't know where I am.

MARITA
Whatever. Just make sure that Monica doesn't
come with him here, she'll probably kill me.

KRYCEK
I'm betting Monica is already back in D.C.
by now, she and Brad.

Krycek pulls out his cell phone and dials Mulder's and his home number. No answer, their answering maching picks up.

KRYCEK
(hangs up)
God, I need to change the message
on our answering machine.

MARITA
Is it the "one and only sex God" one?

KRYCEK
(embarassed)
Yeah...

TIME CUT:

INT. HOTEL ROOM (ROYAL MAGDA HOTEL) - 11 P.M.

Mulder, Skinner and Scully are in one room that is joined to another room that Monica, Brad and John are in. The door that joins the two rooms is open.

SKINNER
Mulder, next time we take the
metro, I'm not listening to you.

MULDER
It's not my fault I got our stop confused
with one way across town.

SKINNER
If you would learn how to read like a regular
human being, we wouldn't have thought we
were at the right stop, and therefore would
not have wandered around wondering why
we were not seeing our hotel.

Scully walks in between them, heading to Monica, Brad and John's room. She knocks on the door upon seeing them talking quietly amongst themselves.

SCULLY
Are we plotting to take Mulder out?

Doggett is first to speak, he quickly moves away from Monica and Brad. He looks suspicious.

DOGGETT
No, we were just uh-

BRAD
-I made them kiss and make up.

Scully walks into the room.

SCULLY
Sure... and that's why John is scratching
the back of his neck again, right?

Upon hearing that, Doggett stops itching his neck and looks at his hand as if he were scolding it.

SCULLY
Ok so... did anyone bring earplugs?

MONICA
Nope.

DOGGETT
(mimicking Monica)
Nope.

MONICA
Stop mimicking me!

DOGGETT
Stop mimicking me!

BRAD
Grow up you guys.

DOGGETT
Grow up you guys.

Doggett stops suddenly, realizing he had just mimicked Brad Follmer and how dumb he sounded doing this anyway. He quickly walks away.

SCULLY
(confused)
I thought you two made up?

BRAD
Oh they did, they just love to fight each other.

In the BACKGROUND we see Doggett hit Monica's arm, she hits him back. While their immature fight continues, we continue with Brad and Scully's conversation.

SCULLY
So... no earplugs?

BRAD
Sorry.

SCULLY
Oh well, I'll attempt to sleep with
my head under the pillow.

BRAD
Mulder snores that loud?

SCULLY
No. Walter does.

Brad never would have suspected. They turn to watch Monica and John.

MONICA
It is not my fault that some hooker
hit on you twenty years ago!

DOGGETT
Yes, it is!

MONICA
So then is it my fault that you paid
for sex with her?!

DOGGETT
Yes!

MONICA
No! You were a manwhore!

DOGGETT
(hesitates)
Yeah, well... you were fat!

The room goes dead quiet. Scully coughs.

SCULLY
Well, that'll be my cue to leave.
Goodnight guys.

BRAD
Night.

Scully returns to her's, Walter and Mulder's room.

MULDER
(singing)
I love Paris in the springtime.
I love Paris in the fall.
I love Paris with my Super Buddies.
I love Paris in the summer when it sizzles...

SKINNER
(deadpan)
Very good Mulder. I think the French members
of Super Buddies will love that rendition of "I Love Paris".

Skinner watches Scully enter the room, rubbing her forehead and then enter the bathroom. He excuses himself from Mulder's presence and goes to check on her.

He knocks on the bathroom door. Scully opens it, she's brushing her teeth.

SCULLY
Yeah?

SKINNER
You ok?

Scully holds up her index finger, and turns to spit in the sink.

SCULLY
Just have a headache.

SKINNER
I can help that.

SCULLY
Could you? Thanks.

Scully goes back to the sink and rinses her mouth with water. Then she and Skinner walk into the other room. Mulder continues to sing, actually not with actual words but mumbling singing.

MULDER
Mumdee ahh tooti la la la
See ik ah dah toto da da da
Mum mum muuuummmm
Da kla de hadee doo!

SCULLY
(to Skinner)
Ok, where's your Tylenol?

Skinner sits down on one of the beds. He motions for her to join him.

SKINNER
Head massage, works everytime.

Scully crawls onto his bed and lies her head in his lap. He starts to give her a head massage.

Mulder looks on, curious as ever.

MULDER
Scully, aren't you with...?

Mulder points to the room Doggett is in.

MULDER
And Walter aren't you with Marita?
Guys, why are you back together...?

SCULLY
We're not.

MULDER
Oh.

TIME CUT:

INT. HOTEL ROOM (ROYAL MAGDA) - 1 A.M.

Scully fell asleep in Skinner's bed, he lies next to her. His arm is draped over her waist. We pan around the room and see that Mulder isn't in his bed. We see him sitting on the window ledge, he's on his cell phone.

MULDER
(quiet)
Yeah. I've got a handful of sugar cubes.
(beat) Yeah, ok next drunk passerby.

A few moments pass and then suddenly Mulder starts chucking sugar cubes at some drunk Parisien below.

MULDER
Mangez du sucre! Arschkopf!

KRYCEK
(muffled/on phone)
Arschkopf is German, not French you idiot.

DRUNKARD
(heavy French accent/angry)
Your mother wears army boots!

Suddenly the Drunkard takes off his shoes and attempts to throw them up at Mulder.

MULDER
(girlie scream)
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Mulder falls backward onto the floor. We hear Krycek laughing hard through Mulder's phone.

Mulder grabs Skinner's underwear from his suitcase, gets onto his knees and inches back over toward the window.

MULDER
(angry)
Lingerie!!!

He throws Skinner's underwear out the window.

Suddenly the door flies open and Monica stands in the doorway. She looks tired and irritated. Mulder hasn't noticed her, he's still giggling.

MONICA
Mulder!

Mulder stops giggling and turns around to face her.

MULDER
Oh, hi Monica. Did you come to join
our slumber party?

MONICA
Shut up, Mulder. You've annoyed me
and several other people too much. I
want to sleep. Stop throwing things
at drunk people.

MULDER
But it's fun, you should join me.

He gives her a goofy smile. She glares at him, then leaves the room.

INT. DOGGETT/MONICA/BRAD'S HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS

DOGGETT
(tired/just woke up)
What's going on...?

MONICA
Mulder.

Doggett looks at her, encouraging her to elaborate.

MONICA
Oh ya know... he's throwing underwear
out the window at people. (beat/joking) Oh and
your girlfriend is in the arms of Walter Skinner.

DOGGETT
She's not my girlfriend yet. (beat)
She's in Skinner's arms?

Monica nods her head and crawls into bed with Brad.

DOGGETT
What does that mean? They're back together?

MONICA
I don't know but they both look
mighty comfy spooned up.

Doggett sits up straight, more alert.

DOGGETT
What do I do?

BRAD
Sleep.

DOGGETT
Not that. What do I do about Dana?

BRAD
Stop wasting time.

MONICA
Yeah, and trust me on this Johnny,
Dana doesn't want to be with Walter
she wants to be with you.

DOGGETT
(getting worked up)
Then what about what you saw?!

MONICA
I don't know! Go to sleep!

Doggett stands up, and runs his fingers through his hair.

DOGGETT
Should I go in there and pretend to be sick?

BRAD
And then she will realize that you aren't
an honest man and that you're just like
everyone else she's been with... desperate
to be with her.

DOGGETT
I'm not desperate for her.

MONICA
That's not what your tone of voice
makes it sound like.

BRAD
Do you want her because it's been
about ten years since you've been
intimate with anyone?

DOGGETT
What the hell do you mean by that?

BRAD
Nothing.

DOGGETT
No, you meant something by that.

BRAD
No. I didn't.

DOGGETT
Yes you- (sighs) Mon' how do
you interpret what he said?

MONICA
You haven't had sex since you and
Barbara got divorced. Dana has an
interesting reputation, but I don't think
you want her just for that. I know you too well.

BRAD
I didn't mean sex. I said "intimate", meaning
allowing someone to become close to him
again - if not for the first time in his life.

MONICA
Oh...

BRAD
John's been so closed off since Luke died...
I think he wants to take a step forward and
let Dana into his heart and his life and not
just on a surface level kind of way.

There's a quiet knock on their door and Scully steps into the room.

SCULLY
Can I crash here? Mulder's yelling
incomprehensible nothings out the
window at the locals.

She looks at John - he's the only one standing. Then she looks at Monica and Brad who are in bed.

SCULLY
Are we playing charades?

She goes over and sits on John's bed.

SCULLY
Well, continue.

Doggett glares at Monica and Brad.

SCULLY
(playing charades)
Grumpy!

Monica bursts out laughing at Scully's guess on what Doggett is. Doggett looks at Scully, a questioning look on his face.

SCULLY
From Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

DOGGETT
No.

SCULLY
Oh it's probably something relating to Paris...
I would do that... how about... I don't know
Rodin's "The Thinker"?

DOGGETT
We aren't playing charades. Monica and
Mister Follmer were worring me about something.

SCULLY
About what?

Monica and Brad get back to going to sleep in the background.

DOGGETT
Somethin'...

Scully stands up and goes to him, placing her hand on his shoulder.

SCULLY
(soft/understanding)
About Luke...?

Doggett tenses up.

SCULLY
I thought I heard Brad say "Luke"...

DOGGETT
It's not that.

SCULLY
(quiet)
What is it?

Doggett sighs and decides not to B.S. anymore.

DOGGETT
Are you and Walter workin' on
getting back together?

In the background we see Monica open one eye upon hearing John ask Scully this question.

SCULLY
No. (beat) What made you think that?

DOGGETT
(points at Monica)
Monica!

SCULLY
What about Monica?

DOGGETT
She said you two were sleepin'
in the same bed.

SCULLY
Because Mulder tends to drool and
flail his arms about.

DOGGETT
She said you were uh... (quieter) spoonin'.

Doggett is uncomfortable, he rubs the back of his neck and looks down at his feet.

Scully waits a few beats before she responds. She has taken notice of Doggett's reaction to her and Skinner. She reaches out and lifts John's head up so she can look him in the eyes.

SCULLY
John... nothing is going on between Walter and I.

She locks her eyes with his and is silent.

A few beats later John looks away and looks at Monica and Brad, they are sleeping.

DOGGETT
You stayin' here the rest of the night?

Scully nods her head "yes".

DOGGETT
How about we get some sleep then. I'm
sure Mulder is going to keep us busy tomorrow.

Scully laughs quietly, John is probably right.

SCULLY
Plus we don't want to wake up Brad and Mon'.

She heads over to John's bed.

SCULLY
Is it all right if I take the left side?

DOGGETT
Sure, I always sleep on the right anyway.

Scully crawls in and waits until John is in before shutting off the light. Doggett rolls over closer to Scully, but is unsure if he should put his arm around her or not, so he doesn't.

DISSOLVE CUT: NEXT DAY

INT. ROYAL MAGDA DINING ROOM - 8 A.M.

Mulder is seated alone at a table, eating a breakfast. Before he knows it, Krycek and Marita have entered the room and have joined him.

MULDER
Hey guys! Did you have a hard time
finding this cozy hotel?

MARITA
Of course not, your directions were so good!

MULDER
Ok.

KRYCEK
Where's everyone else?

MULDER
Everyone else is still sleeping.

KRYCEK
Did you find out what I asked you to find out?

MULDER
Oh no... I forgot.

KRYCEK
So we don't know if Monica and Brad
will mind doing touristy things with Marita?

MARITA
Why wouldn't they? Well besides the fact
I'm upset with Monica for taking my man
away from me. You know I think Dana has
gotten her into that since Dana does it to
me all the time.

MULDER
(stern)
Marita. Don't be mean to Mon' and Dana.
You know very well that they are your friends.

MARITA
I don't care! They are an inconvenience to
my life. Because of them I can't get my way.
Like when I wanted to have Baby Girl Night.

KRYCEK
(disgusted)
Baby Girl Night? I wouldn't have
let you have your way with that either.

MARITA
Then you're a mean bozo!

She stands up and storms away, stomping her little feet.

MULDER
Where is she going so angrily?

KRYCEK
Probably to go pout outside the hotel.

MULDER
Oh.

TIME CUT:

EXT. NOTRE DAME - 4 P.M.

Monica, Brad, Krycek, Scully, Doggett and Skinner are posing for a picture in front of this gothic cathedral. Their arms are around those next to them.

Mulder is trying to communicate with an older man (Francois) to take a picture of all of them so Mulder can be in the photo too.

FRANCOIS
No english.

MULDER
Camera. Me with them.

Mulder points to everyone and then to himself. Then he points at his camera and then at Francois.

MULDER
If you do this Monsieur, I'll make
you a member of Super Buddies.

FRANCOIS
(happy/excited)
Super Buddies? Oh! Je connais
quelques gens qui sont Super Buddies!

MULDER
(arms in air)
Oh oui!

Mulder hops in place, as does Francois. Brad looks to Monica.

BRAD
Mulder's gonna hurt this poor old man.

MONICA
This is so stupid, we've been standing
here posing for eight minutes now. We
could be halfway to the top of Notre Dame
if Mulder would have found someone who
understood English.

SCULLY
Mulder knows French... maybe he forgot it.
(beat) John, you said something earlier
about being fluent... French was practically
your-

Scully stops mid-sentence, realizing what John had really meant by that since he actually studied Spanish. He was fluent in french kissing.

SCULLY
(she feels stupid)
Native tongue.

Doggett smiles at her, he can't believe it took her this long to get that.

DOGGETT
Do you get it now?

SCULLY
(embarassed)
Yeah...

BRAD
You were talking to her about
when you were a player?

SKINNER
As intriguing as it is to find out John
Doggett was a player. I'm going to go
to the top of this... uh... structure.

Skinner turns around and walks away. Right as he does, Mulder runs to everyone else and stands next to Krycek.

MULDER
Ok everyone. Francois - a new Super
Buddy - is going to take our picture. (beat)
One, two, three! FROMAGE!

Everyone smiles. Francois takes the picture as it comes out of Mulder's polaroid camera, we hold on this image as we:

CUT TO:

INT. NOTRE DAME - BELL TOWER

The bell to Notre Dame is rather large and is brown in color. All over the walls in this area, are signatuers of previous visitors. Mulder is looking at this and is disappointed with humanity.

MULDER
How can people have no heart? Don't they
realize a historical monument when they see one?

He turns around to face Scully, she is in the middle, near the bell. She's helping John cope with his fear of being up this high.

MULDER
Do you think this place looks like some
overpass bridge that teenagers use spray
paint to sign their names on?

Scully and Doggett aren't listening to him. In the background we see Skinner stop mid-signature, he's using a permanent marker to write "Walter, July 2003" on the wall. Mulder hasn't noticed.

A new group of people enter, Mulder motions for us to follow him. He approaches this group suspiciously. He is hopeful he will make a few more people members of Super Buddies.

Meanwhile at the top of Notre Dame, outside the interior, Monica and Brad are enjoying the view of Paris. It's a gloomy day, but that doesn't ruin their moods. They stand looking out on Paris, holding hands.

They are like this for several minutes until Skinner comes and joins them.

SKINNER
Whatever you do, don't tell Mulder you
signed your name on the wall down there.

Brad looks at him and raises an eyebrow.

SKINNER
Trust me.

MONICA
Is he lecturing people about that?

SKINNER
No, he's trying to reign in more
Super Buddies members.

BRAD
How many members are there?

SKINNER
(thinking)
Nancy, Francois, Sara, Nathan, Naoko,
Jeremy, Allison, Amy, Jennifer, Patrick,
Lisa, Nadia, Cerasi, Cassie, Kristi, Zeke,
Juliette, Elin, Dana, Marita, John, Alex,
Mulder, myself and of course you, Monica.
And I wouldn't be surprised if he got Brad
into it before we get back stateside.

BRAD
No way. I don't like organized fun groups.

Brad and Skinner share a knowing look.

SKINNER
I know what you mean man.

There's a silent beat. Monica wonders what "fun group" these two are referring to.

MONICA
Walter, do you know if Dana
is helping John get up here?

SKINNER
No, John decided he wanted to
go back down and get something
to drink at a cafe.

Brad suddenly starts to chuckle. Monica and Skinner give him a strange look.

BRAD
Sorry, I'm just thinking about how
we decided to have dinner on the
Eiffel Tower tonight.

SKINNER
Why's that funny?

Brad keeps laughing.

MONICA
If John was afraid to come up here, how
in the world is he going to get on that tower?

Monica points ahead of them. Off in the distance they see the Eiffel Tower, standing tall in the Paris skyline. Skinner laughs as well.

SKINNER
(laughing)
Guess John will just have to stay on the ground
with Mulder, since Mulder is banned from tall structures.

MONICA
Banned from tall structures?

SKINNER
Yeah, ever since the Saint Louis Gateway Arch
Incident of 1993, Mulder has been banned from
buildings or architecture higher than six stories.
Marita got the ban approved internationally the
following year for fear that Mulder would one day
do something drastic while searching for his wife in Europe.

MONICA
He has a wife in Europe? I don't think I know
Fox Mulder anymore.

SKINNER
There are so many things you don't know about Mulder.

TIME CUT:

INT. ROYAL MAGDA HOTEL - MONICA/BRAD/JOHN'S ROOM - 6:30 P.M.

Brad and John are dressed in nice black suits, all ready to go out to dinner. Monica is in the bathroom changing into nice clothes.

MONICA
(muffled)
Now John, if you laugh at what
I'm wearing you won't be able
to sit down for weeks.

Doggett rolls his eyes.

BRAD
So, do you know what you're
going to say to her?

DOGGETT
To Mon'?

BRAD
No. To Dana. We are going to your
ideal setting tonight.

DOGGETT
Oh... I don't know if it's the right time
in our friendship to ask her out.

Monica steps out of the bathroom. She's wearing a navy blue dress.

MONICA
Not the right time in your friendship? John, pardon
me if this comes off rude, but your chicken shit.

Just then Scully comes dancing into the room, humming "La Vie En Rose". She goes up to John and takes his hand in hers and tries to dance with him.

BRAD
(to Scully)
Well aren't we in a good mood this evening?

Scully stops dancing and looks at Brad.

SCULLY
I can't help it, there's something in the
air, I have a feeling tonight is going to be wonderful.

She looks at John and smiles. Monica elbows Brad and they share a smile.

KRYCEK
(walks into the room)
Ok. Since this is a formal restaurant we're
going to, I think we all need to have a date.
So I'm guessing Monica and Brad, Dana and
John, myself and Marita and Mulder and (giggles) Walter.

SCULLY
Speaking of Marita... where is she?

KRYCEK
What do you mean "where is she"?
She's been here in Paris with me.

There's a tap on his shoulder, he turns and sees Mulder.

MULDER
Actually, Alex... Marita got mad at breakfast
and left you. We don't know where she is.

Krycek is paralyzed. How did he not realize Marita wasn't with him all day long?

MULDER
So it looks like you, myself and Da SkinMan
will be going together... as a threesome.

Off Krycek's terrified look...

CUT TO:

EXT. EIFFEL TOWER - 7:15 P.M.

The gang has arrived at the base of the tower.

SKINNER
It's taller than I thought.

He stands looking up at it.

SCULLY
Let's get in line.

They all go in line to wait to get on the elevators.

BRAD
What about tickets?

They look at him blankly.

DOGGETT
Why do we need tickets?

BRAD
(it's obvious)
To go up onto this monument.

They all get it now, Krycek goes over and hands Brad a few French francs. Brad gives him a weird look.

KRYCEK
There ya go.

Krycek smiles at him.

BRAD
What's this for?

KRYCEK
Duh! French francs.

BRAD
You do know they use the Euro, right?

KRYCEK
The what?

Brad shakes his head.

BRAD
Nevermind.

Everyone else gives him some of their own Euros they had exchanged earlier in their trip. Brad goes off to buy their tickets.

MONICA
So, John...

She smiles at him.

DOGGETT
What?

MONICA
This is your setting.

She nudges him with her elbow.

DOGGETT
(nervous)
I know...

MONICA
It's higher than you thought, isn't it?

DOGGETT
(lying)
No...

Monica gives him a look.

DOGGETT
(giving in)
Ok, just a little.

MONICA
But "height will not be a problem", right?
(beat) That's what you said.

She smiles at him again, hoping her smile will detensify him, he seems uptight and nervous.

MONICA
It's your destiny.

Mulder comes up to them.

MULDER
Hey guys, I was wondering if you could
do me a favor when you get up there.

Monica and John look at him, not sure of what's to come.

MULDER
Since I'm not allowed on tall structures,
I was wondering if you guys could spit for me.

They look at him blankly, unable to determine if he's kidding or being serious.

DOGGETT
Spit?

MULDER
Yeah, it's always been something
I've wanted to do. (beat/begging) Please...

MONICA
(obviously lying)
Sure, we will.

MULDER
Golly! Thanks guys!

He jumps in place and then skips away. Skinner and Scully come up to Monica and John.

SKINNER
I'm afraid to ask why Mulder
is skipping away.

SCULLY
Let me guess. He wants you
guys to spit for him?

MONICA
How did you guess?

SKINNER
He wanted us to do it too.

Brad returns to them with their tickets. He looks around.

BRAD
Where's Krycek?

They all look around, they don't see him anywhere.

MONICA
Well, I see some police lights over there.

She points towards one of the legs of the Eiffel Tower. They all look in the direction she is pointing. Sure enough, there are police. Krycek is trying to climb up the Eiffel Tower and he's been caught.

SCULLY
(as if she's dealt wit this before)
Oh no.

SKINNER
What is he doing?

DOGGETT
He's crazy.

BRAD
He's an idiot. (beat) Why would
anyone try to climb up the Eiffel Tower?

SCULLY
Especially someone with his
lack of endurance.

They head over to where the police are trying to get Krycek down.

KRYCEK
(yelling)
But it's cheaper this way?

The police shout something up at him in French.

KRYCEK
No parlez! Besides if I fall and die,
it's not like you have to take a pay
cut, I'm an American-Russian citizen!

The police yell up at him again. Scully passes the police.

SCULLY
Alex!

KRYCEK
Hey Scully!

SCULLY
Alex! Get down now!

KRYCEK
Why? This way is cheaper!

SCULLY
This is exactly what happened
to Mulder in 1993!

KRYCEK
So!

SCULLY
You don't want to be banned
from tall structures doo, do you?

KRYCEK
Not really, but this is cheaper!

Everyone is watching this scene.

SCULLY
Alex! Someone might get hurt!
Get down here now!

Krycek says nothing, he's thinking.

KRYCEK
Ok, I will!

SCULLY
Good-

KRYCEK
-But only if you flash me!

Scully rolls her eyes.

SCULLY
Fine! I will! Now get down here!

Krycek makes his way down. Once he's down safely, he goes over to Scully, eyeing her up and down with a perverted smirk on his face.

KRYCEK
Ok. Show me what you're made of.

He smiles.

SCULLY
Yeah right.

She walks back to everyone else. Krycek follows.

KRYCEK
Hey!

SCULLY
Did you really think I would flash you?

KRYCEK
I'm down here aren't I?

She gives him a look.

KRYCEK
I don't wanna pay for an elevator
ride and an expensive dinner.

BRAD
You aren't, I paid for your ticket.

KRYCEK
Thanks man.

He smiles at Brad and gets into the line, cutting in front of people.

BRAD
I do expect you to pay me back.

KRYCEK
(he won't)
Yeah, ok.

CUT TO:

INT. EIFFEL TOWER - FIRST FLOOR - RESTAURANT - 7:45 P.M.

The group is lead to their table by a waiter. They are seated by a window that looks out on the city of Paris. Since it is late, we can see the Arc de Triomphe in the distance, it has been lit for the night.

The waiter hands everyone a menu. Time passes as they look over the selections.

KRYCEK
Escargots... I've heard of that. I think
I'll have that, seems pretty French to me.

SKINNER
(doubtful)
Do you know what it is?

KRYCEK
What do you think I am? Dumb?
I'm Russian, you don't think I've
eaten snails before? Geez.

SKINNER
I was just making sure. Once Marita and I
ate at a French restaurant and she ordered
it and I assumed she knew what she had
ordered. She got it and was disgusted...
Complete waste of money.

SCULLY
Are you sure she didn't order it on purpose,
knowing she didn't like it, just to waste your money?

SKINNER
I'm sure.

SCULLY
(doubtful)
Uh huh.

SKINNER
(reaches and holds her hand)
Dana... you don't have to be bitter about Marita
anymore. She and I were a mistake. I realize
that now. (beat) And I realize the mistake I
made by ruining what I had with you and-

DOGGETT
(doesn't like how this discussion is going)
-SO! Dana, that's a pretty dress on you, really
shows off your eyes-

KRYCEK
-And her cleavage.

Krycek gets disapproving looks from everyone.

Krycek rolls his eyes and then suddenly they pop wide open again. What he sees and no one else, is Mulder, outside the window, mouthing off the words "help me".

KRYCEK
Oh my God!

DOGGETT
You apologize to Dana.

Krycek stands up.

KRYCEK
(to Scully, doesn't look at her)
I'm sorry.

Krycek walks away from the table and leaves the restaurant.

Still unknown to everyone, Mulder moves away from the window and out of view of Scully, Doggett, Monica, Brad and Skinner.

MONICA
Dana, do you know if Alex sees a shrink?

SCULLY
(overreacting/didn't hear Mon' right)
Yes! I do see a sex shrink. I can't help it
if I flaunt myself! I've been doing it since I was
young! My shrink and I are working on toning
down my everyday sexuality.

BRAD
Umm... we weren't asking about your shrink -
no matter how interesting that story may be.
Mon' was asking if Alex is seeking professional help.

SCULLY
Oh. (beat) No, he isn't.

SKINNER
(to Scully)
You're seeing that sex shrink again?

SCULLY
(quiet)
Yes...

SKINNER
I thought you stopped going to him
once we got engaged.

SCULLY
Yeah, but then we weren't engaged and
I became more... outgoing. Well, I guess...
that's what Dr. Kinkleman said.

Scully looks to Doggett and Brad.

SCULLY
(to John and Brad)
Remember when I dressed Mon' for that date
with Josh? She was almost sexually assaulted
because I dressed her up slutty, like me. I
can be so horrible.

The waiter returns and takes their orders.

TIME CUT:

They are exiting the restaurant. Monica and Brad go off together. Skinner, Scully and Doggett linger, wondering what to do next.

DOGGETT
I wonder where Krycek and Mulder are.

SKINNER
Mulder didn't come up with us.

DOGGETT
What's the story with his ban?

SCULLY
His tendancy to climb up tall
buildings and get stuck, endangering himself.

Scully walks off to go stand at the side of the Eiffel Tower... alone. Skinner and Doggett look at each other. Each asking the other silently who will join Scully. Skinner coughs and goes to join her.

We stay with Doggett, he watches Dana and Skinner interact. Scully turns to face Skinner, she takes his hands in hers and speaks to him. It must be serious, based upon the expressions on their faces. Skinner nods his head, showing understanding with what she's telling him. They stand there and before leaving her side, Skinner hugs her. Skinner walks back toward Doggett.

SKINNER
(to Doggett as he passes him)
She wants to talk to you...

Skinner passes Doggett and goes to lean on the rail at the interior of the tower. He looks down at the people below.

Doggett looks back at Skinner and then to Scully. He puts his hands in his pockets and walks to her side. He makes sure not to look out on the city so the height doesn't bother him.

DOGGETT
Walter said you wanted to talk to me?

Scully smiles at him.

SCULLY
Not so much talk as I want you by
my side. (beat/looks out on city)
Paris is so beautiful at night, don't you think?

Ok. Johnny this is it, make your move. Doggett moves closer to Scully and takes hold of her hand.

DOGGETT
(soft)
Dana... I've been thinking lately...

Scully turns to face him, a smile on her face. She has a feeling of what is coming next.

Uncomfortable about what to say next, Doggett looks down - catching a glimpse of Paris from a high point. Oh. My. God. He is up so high. His eyes go wide, this is much higher than he expected. What if he gets dizzy and falls and somehow slips and plumets to the ground and dies? What if no one were thre to catch him or keep him from falling. To Doggett, his surroundigs begin to spin, he lets go of Scully's hand and traps her in between himself and the rail when he grabs it with both hands to help maintain his balance.

A few quiet beats pass. Scully looks at him concerned.

SCULLY
(soft/concerned)
Johnny...?

Doggett hasn't moved or blinked in quite some time.

SCULLY
John, are you all right? (beat/no answer)
Why don't we get you back on the ground.

She attempts to move his hands, they are white from the pressure of his grip.

SCULLY
Johnny, sweetie. Why don't you shut
your eyes and visualize the Kansas
plains... forget where you really are.

DOGGETT
(eyes wide open/shakey voice)
I can't...

As Scully tries to help Doggett off the rail. And Doggett's perfect setting moment to ask her out ruined, from his fear of heights. We join Skinner...

Skinner is still looking down at the ground. He quickly looks both ways and spits over the side. He watches his spit as it falls to the ground.

WOMAN
(off screen)
Walter...?

Skinner turns around startled. He sees Kim Cook, his assistant.

SKINNER
(surprised)
Kim? What are you doing here?

Skinner eyes her from head to toe. Her red hair is highlighted by the dark brown dress she is wearing. She looks beautiful. She smiles at him.

KIM
I was taking my two week vacation. You?

Walter can't help but smile at her. She really does look beautiful, something he had never exactly noticed at work.

SKINNER
Well, it's rather complicated. We
all went to England for Marita's
wedding to A.D. Follmer-

KIM
-Oh yes, I saw what happened on
the news. The Queen fainted, right?

SKINNER
Yeah. (beat) Marita and Krycek ran
off here with everyone's tickets back
to Washington.

KIM
Oh. (beat) Have you done much site seeing?

SKINNER
Not as much as I'd like to.

KIM
Would you like to join me tomorrow?
I was planning on going to the Sacre Coeur.

SKINNER
(happy)
Yeah, I'd love to. (beat)
Where are you staying?

KIM
At Le Petit Hotel de Paris.

SKINNER
Ok, I'll pick you up tomorrow
morning. What time is good for you?

KIM
Eight o'clock.

SKINNER
Ok.

He smiles at her.

Meanwhile... Krycek has found his way up the Eiffel Tower so he can talk to Mulder, who is still stuck on the tower's edge.

KRYCEK
I can't believe this is bothering you.

MULDER
Those were the last Lucky Charms.

KRYCEK
That was this morning!

MULDER
Yeah well!

KRYCEK
Get over it!

MULDER
No!

KRYCEK
I thought you weren't
allowed on tall structures!

MULDER
Yeah well! I wouldn't be up here
if it weren't for you!

KRYCEK
Don't blame this on me!

MULDER
Don't eat my Lucky Charms!

KRYCEK
I'm going to just because
you told me not to!

Mulder gets very upset with this and accidentally lets go of the Eiffel Tower. He's falling.

MULDER
Whoa!

KRYCEK
(looking over the edge)
Mulder!

Mulder continues to fall, screaming "whoa!" on his way down.

Meanwhile, Scully and Doggett are sitting at a small table at the base of the Eiffel Tower.

SCULLY
Are you ok?

DOGGETT
Doing better now that I'm
on the ground. (beat) Thank
you for saving me from falling
off the Eiffel Tower.

Scully laughs.

SCULLY
John, it's rare that anyone will
fall off. It's protected.

On cue, Mulder comes crashing down next to their table.

Doggett and Scully look over in shock. Doggett looks at Scully with wide eyes.

SCULLY
Oh my God! Mulder?

Mulder sits up, shakes his head to clear it. He gets up and slowly walks away. He's going to be ok. Not even one broken bone.

MULDER
(dazed)
Whoa...

Scully looks over at Doggett, she doesn't know what to think of this incident.

SCULLY
(joking)
See, even if you did fall, you would be ok.

DOGGETT
(freaked out)
He's like a frickin' cartoon!

SCULLY
We should check on him.

She and Doggett get up and go to Mulder.

INT. TOP OF THE EIFFEL TOWER

Brad and Monica have found their way away from the group. No one else is up there except a few employees. Brad and Monica are looking out over the city.

MONICA
It's so nice up here.

BRAD
Yeah.

He wraps his arms around Monica.

BRAD
(softly in her ear)
Monica...?

MONICA
Hmm?

BRAD
I've been thinking...

MONICA
Yeah?

BRAD
... about us.

MONICA
What about us?

There is a beat before anyone says anything.

BRAD
(softly)
Will you marry me?

Monica turns to face him, she's speechless. Brad digs in his pant pocket and retrieves a ring box. He opens it for her. She sees a diamond engagement ring.

MONICA
(in awe/ tears in eyes)
Oh my God...

She kisses him for a few beats.

BRAD
Is that a "yes"?

He smiles at her. Monica nods her head "yes". She's close to crying. Brad places the ring on her finger, then leans in to give her another kiss.

CUT TO:

EXT. EIFFEL TOWER - ON GROUND

Mulder is seated in a chair, Scully is checking him over. Doggett, Krycek and Skinner are standing around him.

SKINNER
How in the world did you
accomplish this, Mulder?

MULDER
(proud)
It was my big stunt.

KRYCEK
It wasn't a stunt you idiot, you fell.

MULDER
So.

DOGGETT
Where are Mon' and Brad?

SCULLY
I don't know. Probably still up there.

On cue, a happy Brad and Monica got off the elevator.

MULDER
There they are. Do you think they
know about my stunt?

KRYCEK
Accident.

MULDER
Stunt.

Monica and Brad come up to the group. Both are smiling, holding hands.

MONICA
Hey guys.

MULDER
Did you see my stunt?

KRYCEK
Accident.

MULDER
(frustrated)
Stunt!

Brad turns to Doggett, Scully and Skinner.

BRAD
Do we want to know
what his "stunt" is?

SCULLY
Mulder climbed up the
tower and fell.

MONICA
Fell?

MULDER
Yeah, it was my big stunt.

BRAD
(doubtful)
Right.

SKINNER
Anyway, it's getting late, we
should probably go.

SCULLY
Yeah, I'm getting kind of tired.
(beat) Mulder's big stunt was that exciting.

MULDER
(to Krycek)
See, it was a stunt. Scully said so.

Krycek sneers at him. They all start to walk back to the metro station.

Monica goes up to John, he's trailing behind. Looking mighty mopey

MONICA
(happy)
Congradulations, Johnny.

DOGGETT
(cynical)
On what?

MONICA
On you asking Dana out.

DOGGETT
(mad at himself)
I freaked and couldn't.

MONICA
(sympathetic)
Oh no.

DOGGETT
(mad at himself)
It's all your fault.

MONICA
(confused)
What?

Brad looks back at them.

DOGGETT
You didn't do any strange hypnosis
on me to get rid of my fear of heights.

MONICA
You don't believe in that!

DOGGETT
I would've!

MONICA
No you wouldn't.

DOGGETT
Yes I would. (beat) This is all
your fault. Because of you,
Paris is ruined.

He walks away faster. Monica is in shock, her pace slowing. Brad goes up to her.

BRAD
Don't let him bother you.

He puts his arms around her.

CUT TO:

INT. METRO TRAIN - 10:38 P.M.

The train car is empty. Everyone is sitting on seats except for Krycek. Krycek has a silly grin on his face. Mulder is watching him, holding his mouth, trying not to giggle.

We notice that Krycek has his prosthetic arm on, and it's "holding" onto the rail above him.

DOGGETT
Alex? Why don't you sit down.
No one else is on this train.

Mulder giggles, for he knows all too well what is coming once the metro starts moving. The train slightly moves backwards.

KRYCEK
(under breath)
Here goes...

The train suddenly flies forward, causing Krycek to fall backwards, leaving his arm hanging on the rail.

Mulder starts laughing and pointing at Krycek.

MULDER
Ha! Ha! That was so funny! Ha! Ha!

No one else is laughing, this is stupid. Alex is on the dirty floor, flailing about as if his real arm had torn off. Once Mulder and Krycek realize no one is laughing they stop.

KRYCEK
Have we performed that stunt
for you guys before?

No one answers him. They are all looking behind Mulder and Krycek at something else.

Mulder and Krycek slowly turn around and see a large group of people, specifically a street gang.

Krycek quickly gets up off the floor.

The gang members make their way towards them.

GANG LEADER
(thick accent)
This is our train car.

MULDER
Are you in Super Buddies?

The gang looks at him. The Gang Leader pulls out a knife.

GANG LEADER
Do you know what we do to
people who are on our train?

The leader is making his way to Mulder, who is about to wet himself.

MULDER
(shakey)
No...

The Gang Leader is now in Mulder's face.

GANG LEADER
We gut them like a fish.

The Gang Leader threateningly puts the knife near Mulder's abdomen.

MULDER
(about to cry)
Oh God...

Monica stands up and pushes the Gang Leader away from Mulder.

MONICA
Hey!

BRAD
(nervous)
Mon', sit down.

She doesn't listen to him.

MONICA
Leave him alone. You don't
own this train car.

GANG LEADER
Who are you bitch?

He puts the knife up to Monica. Like the strong Reyes that Monica is, she doesn't show fear or back down.

MONICA
(threatening)
Back off before you get hurt.

The Gang Leader sneers at her.

DOGGETT
Sit down Mon'.

GANG LEADER
(threatening)
Don't fuck with the Jaws of Hell.

With that, he throws his knife down into Monica's foot. Her eyes go wide and she looks down at her foot. She bends down and pulls the knife out. She holds it up in a threatening way to the Gang Leader.

MONICA
Yeah, well... don't fuck with a Reyes.

Mulder covers his mouth in shock that she used such a colorful word.

To much of everyone's surprise, the Gang Leader and his goons back off.

GANG LEADER
(nervous)
You're a Reyes?

Monica stares him down.

GANG LEADER
(to his goons)
Let's get out of here.

The gang quickly flee out of the train car. Monica stays in her position, not moving.

MULDER
(happy)
Yay for Super Buddies!

BRAD
(concerned)
Monica?

MONICA
Hmm?

BRAD
You ok?

MONICA
(drops knife)
Ow...

Scully goes up to Monica and helps her sit down.

SCULLY
We should take you to a hospital.

KRYCEK
(amused)
What kind of family do you have?

The train stops and as quickly as they can, they get off the train.

MULDER
You're so brave, Monica.
You saved my life.

He happily gives her a hug, accidentally stepping on her injured foot.

MONICA
Ow!

SCULLY
Injured foot, Mulder! Injured foot!

MULDER
Oh. Sorry.

They head out of the metro and to a hospital.

TIME CUT TO:

INT. SCULLY/SKINNER/MULDER'S HOTEL ROOM - 11:59 P.M.

Scully, Skinner, Mulder and Krycek are sitting quietly on one of the beds. From the other room they can hear Monica and Doggett having another argument.

MONICA
(muffled)
Stop blaming everything on me!

DOGGETT
(muffled)
It's all your fault! You did it
on purpose for your own amusement!

Monica says something that they cannot hear. A door slams and all is quiet.

MULDER
(whisper)
I don't like it when they fight.
It's very un-Super Buddy of them.

Meanwhile, in Doggett, Brad and Monica's room. Doggett and Brad stand alone.

BRAD
(calm)
John-

DOGGETT
(worked up)
-What?!

Brad waits a beat before speaking again. Allowing Doggett time to calm down.

BRAD
I know you are mad at yourself, but
stop projecting your anger onto Monica.

DOGGETT
(worked up)
I'm not projecting anything onto Monica.

Doggett sits down. Brad waits for him to calm down and come to the realization that yes, indeed, he does project his problems onto Monica.

This is a long beat of silence.

DOGGETT
Say something, Brad.

BRAD
I'm waiting for you to come to a realization.

Brad sits down.

After a beat, Doggett speaks up.

DOGGETT
(looks down/quiet)
I know it's not Monica's fault
that I couldn't ask Dana out tonight.

Brad listens.

DOGGETT
It's just... it's just...

BRAD
"It's just" what, John?

DOGGETT
I can't admit to her that
it's all my fault.

BRAD
Why?

Doggett shrugs. He doesn't know.

BRAD
Don't you think you should apologize
to her and let her know you don't
think it's her fault.

DOGGETT
I can't do that.

BRAD
Why not?

DOGGETT
I don't know.

They sit there in silence for another while.

BRAD
You and Monica are friends, right?

DOGGETT
Yes.

BRAD
You don't like to hurt your
friends, do you?

DOGGETT
No.

BRAD
Do you realize that when you say
things like what you've said to
tonight, to Monica, that it hurts her?

Doggett looks up at him.

DOGGETT
Reyes' don't get their feelings hurt.

BRAD
Then why is she not here?

Doggett looks at him. He knows why she's not there.

DOGGETT
I should go find her and apologize, right?

Brad nods his head. Doggett stands up and gets his coat.

In the other room, Scully, Skinner, Mulder and Krycek have their ears on the door that joins the two rooms.

MULDER
Brad should definately be in Super
Buddies. (beat) He's fixed a John and
Mon' fight.

Mulder is very impressed by this.

CUT TO:

EXT. HOTEL - 12:22 A.M.

Monica is standing outside the hotel, very upset at what John has blamed her for. She's so upset that she is smoking a cigarette.

Doggett exits the hotel. Monica doesn't notice him.

DOGGETT
(re: cigarette)
That's a nasty habit.

Monica quickly throws her cigarette, acting like she wasn't smoking.

MONICA
(upset with him)
What do you want?

DOGGETT
I'm sorry.

Monica says nothing.

DOGGETT
It's not your fault, ok? I'm
the one who freaked out.

MONICA
Why do you blame me for
everything bad that happens?

DOGGETT
I don't know.

They stand in silence for a beat.

DOGGETT
Mon', I don't want to fight
anymore. (beat) Can we have a truce?

MONICA
As long as you stop blaming me for
things. (beat) Tonight was so perfect,
and then you come along and ruin it
by blaming me for your fear of heights.
(beat) Believe it of not, John, but It
does hurt my feelings.

Doggett looks down.

DOGGETT
I'm sorry.

Above them, watching out of a hotel window are Mulder, Krycek and Scully.

MULDER
I hope they make up.

SCULLY
Me too.

They see Monica and Doggett continue to talk, then they hug.

MULDER
Oh goodie!

SKINNER
(O.S.)
Quiet please, I'm trying to sleep...

KRYCEK
Sorry... they just became friends again.

SKINNER
(O.S.)
Good for them. Can we all sleep now?

All three of them move away from the window. Scully goes over to the bed where Skinner is. Mulder goes to his own bed, leaving Krycek standing in the middle of the room.

KRYCEK
Where do I sleep?

SCULLY
With Mulder.

Krycek looks over at Mulder. Mulder smiles at him, then pats the other side of the bed, daring Krycek to come in.

KRYCEK
No way. Mulder has an
abnormal drooling problem.

SCULLY
(giggling)
Abby Normal...

Krycek grabs a pillow and takes the blanket off of Mulder's bed. Krycek decides to take the floor.

MULDER
I want my blankie back.

SKINNER
Don't start.

MULDER
Sorry.

TIME CUT TO: NEXT DAY

EXT. ARC DE TRIOMPHE - 9 A.M.

Scully, Krycek and Doggett are standing next to the Eternal Flame of the Unknown Soldier. Monica and Brad aren't witht them, they decided to go to the top of the arc.

KRYCEK
Where's Mulder?

No one knows, he was with them when they got there earlier. Since neither Scully nor Doggett answered him, Krycek walks off in search of Mulder.

Once Krycek is away, Scully takes a step closer to Doggett and holds his hand. He looks down at her, unsure of her intentions. She smiles at him.

SCULLY
Are you sure you don't want to go
up and surprise Monica?

DOGGETT
No, I'm quite comfortable here on
the ground. (beat) I hope I'm not
keepin' you from enjoying the monument.

SCULLY
What's not to enjoy? I'm keeping
you company... in Paris... at the
Arc de Triomphe.

She looks away from him and lets out a happy sigh. Her eyes drift upward to look at the giant flag of France that is hanging from the middle of the monument.

SCULLY
(worried)
John...

DOGGETT
Yeah...?

SCULLY
Tell me I'm dreaming...

DOGGETT
You're dreaming.

Scully reaches up and pushes Doggett's head up so he can look up at the flag of France.

Hanging onto the flag for dear life, is Mulder. The flag is swaying back and forth dangerously.

KRYCEK
(yelling)
Just let go Mulder!

MULDER
No way!

KRYCEK
Just do it!

MULDER
No! This is scary! How
scary would falling be?!

KRYCEK
You did it last night and you were higher!

MULDER
I don't want to pee my pants!

A crowd has begun to gather around - some are wearing Super Buddies t-shirts.

RANDOM PERSON
Tombez idiot!

An elderly woman standing next to Dana and John questions.

ELDERLY WOMAN
His parents aren't doing a very good
job with him. This child should be disciplined.

Scully sighs.

SCULLY
Mulder, sweetie, honey, darling
cupcake, cookie! Why don't you let
go and your fellow Super Buddies
will catch you!

MULDER
Really?

He lets go, no one had time to prepare to catch him. He falls and rolls, his arm taking out the Eternal Flame of the Unknown Soldier.

ELDERLY WOMAN
(to Scully)
Are you that boy's mother?
You should really keep a
better eye on your children.

Scully rolls her eyes and ignores her. She goes to Mulder's side.

SCULLY
You ok?

MULDER
Yeah. I didn't even burn my
hadn when I put out that flame.

Scully's eyes go wide.

SCULLY
(to crowd)
We need a lighter!

No one budges, doesn't anyone have a lighter? This is Paris. Doggett goes to her and hands her a lighter. She quickly re-lights the flame.

SCULLY
Thanks.

DOGGETT
No problem.

SCULLY
You smoke?

DOGGETT
Nope. The lighter is Mon's.

TIME CUT: 11 A.M.

INT. CAFE

Mulder, Krycek, Scully, Doggett, Monica and Brad are eating lunch. No one has noticed that Skinner is missing. Skinner snuck out of the hotel early to meet with Kim Cook.

MULDER
Hey. Wait a minute. Where's Marita?

KRYCEK
She's sitting next to me.

SCULLY
I didn't know Marita joined us yet.

MULDER
She had breakfast with Alex and I
yesterday morning... then she got
mad and left! Oh no! We lost Marita!

BRAD
And Walter. Didn't you notice he's
not with us either?

SCULLY
Typical man, he probably ran off with
Marita and they are having an affair again.

MULDER
That's not fair to assume.

SCULLY
Once a cheater, always a cheater.

MULDER
Skinman isn't with anyone right now so
even if he were with Marita it wouldn't be cheating.

SCULLY
Yeah, well...

KRYCEK
Switzerland!

SMASH CUT:

INT. TRAIN STATION - 12:22 P.M.

The gang is boarding a train to go to Switzerland to look for Marita.

They take their seats in a private cabin. They are quiet as they wait to leave.

The train starts to move.

KRYCEK
I hope Marita remembers where my
Swiss cabin is in the Alps... I love
her so much. I would die if anything
bad happened to her.

As the train passes through Paris, Edith Piaff's "La Vie En Rose" plays. Doggett stares out the window at the Eiffel Tower... if only...

Monica and Brad sit close together, his arm around her. Monica is looking at the engagement ring on her hand.

Mulder is writing in his travel journal, a quirky smile is on his face as he recalls the events that happened to him in Paris.

Scully sits next to Doggett, she rests her head on his shoulder to try to catch some sleep.

The song continues as the train heads east to Switzerland.

FADE OUT:

TO BE CONTINUED...

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